There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Donald Rumsfeld
The Cover Up
Tony Bliar: "Listen, Mr Putin, this isn't acceptable. You can't just go around putting government-listed radioactive toxins in people's food just because they work for the opposition. Especially not in the UK. That's not how we do things."
Putin: "Can't you just say that he choked on a chicken bone?"
Bliar: "It's all over the press already - a man decaying from radiation sickness in our hospital, guarded by KGB bully-boys and declaring how he is a poisoned Russian spy. Furthermore, they actually found traces of radioactive toxin at the restaurant AND at the poisoner's hideout. You'll have to come up with something else."
Putin: "What about ten million barrels of Ukranian crude?"
Bliar: "Is that a bribe?"
...
Monday's papers...
"Russian spy dies of chicken-marrow poisoning - French boycott UK chickens in radioactive battery-farm scare".
'Everyone knows you MUST cook chicken thoroughly to remove all radioactive isotopes.' said newly-appointed British Agriculture minister Ivan Kebchenokov.
Tuesday's papers...
"I was a patsy for a cover-up" says disgraced sushi chef.
The chef of the Sushi Bar, Kung Ho Chi, has been dismissed for the chicken-bone incident. "Sushi is a study of food untainted by heat." said classicly-trained Chi. "Where the hell does chicken fit into that Category?"
He was urged by his replacement lawyer, Vladimir Cholnitzko, to "please be qviet."
Wednesday's papers...
"Chef found dead behind dustbins." Government to launch enquiry into how three bullets, a cyanide capsule and a russian-made dagger made it into a BLT sandwich.
"This highlights the dangers of fast food." said new health minister, Olga Rachmaninov.
Liverpool v Arsenal
The Inspection
The Postponment
The Debate
The Politics of F*cking
aka
50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.
thanks Larry
Smoke and Sleighbells
A Merry Christmas from the nice chaps at Gerber Blades.
thanks Larry
The Ashes Tour Game
Drive the England team to victory
Get behind the wheel of the Ashes Tour Bus in our mad cap game.
Pit your wits and skills in the Ashes Aussie Nobbler game as you aim to get our team through the Australian outback to the test.
Play Here
The Australian Tour bus has broken down so nobble those Aussie hitch-hikers on the way but avoid the crocodiles, eagles and kangaroos as they'll damage the coach.
"Bowled Warnie, aarrggghhhhh!!!!"
