When Tom's wife came home Sunday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and Tom on the couch having done nothing but drink beer and watch football all day.

She yelled, "Watch yourself, mister, or you're going to make me do something I don't want to do!"
 
"Wow," Tom thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a blowjob out of this!"