Q. What do you call a scottish cloakroom attendant?

B. Angus McCoatup

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40 scousers arrived at heavens gate, St Peter says to them "Sorry we only have room for 15, so you will have to decide amongst yourselves who will come in".

Five minutes later St Peter turns to God and says "They've gone."

"What all 40 of them?" aks a rather shocked God.

"No" replies St Peter, "The fucking gates."