Quickies from Shumpy

While watching the basketball game Monday night, my wife and I were discussing life and death. I told her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle, If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

Some days I hate being married to a smart ass.

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A British company is developing computer chips which store music in women's breast implants.

This is a major breakthrough, since women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them

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Q. What do you call a pimp who doesn't like blow jobs?
A. A headless whoresman.

cheers Shumpy