Plastic Surgeon General Warns Of Small Breasts Epidemic

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—According to a report released Monday by U.S. plastic surgeon general Dr. Louis T. Saddler, an alarming number of American women are suffering from dangerously small breasts.

The Office of the Plastic Surgeon General—headed by a presidential appointee tasked with monitoring the national aesthetic, alerting the public to any small flaws, and offering a wide range of affordable, noninvasive laser resurfacing options—first addressed the countrywide plague of undersized breasts in the mid-1980s by demanding that manufacturers of A- through C-cup bras place large warning labels on their products informing female consumers of the potential risk of having deficient bosoms. more here