St. George Unofficial Bank Holiday

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Ooo Err Missus!

Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's just come in his shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World superbike racing:
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on 'This Morning':
"She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead:
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil tell us about your amazing third leg."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said:
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said:
"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
Leave fur where it belongs