Performance Appraisals

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS = Able to bullshit

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS = Spends lots of time on phone

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE = Not too bright

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED = Made no major blunders yet

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY = Too ugly to get a date

ACTIVE SOCIALLY = Drinks a lot

FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY = Spouse drinks, too

INDEPENDENT WORKER = Nobody knows what he/she does

QUICK THINKING = Offers plausible excuses

CAREFUL THINKER = Won't make a decision

AGGRESSIVE = Obnoxious

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS = Gets someone else to do it

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL = Speaks English

METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL = A nit picker

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES = Is tall or has a loud voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGMENT = Lucky

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR = Knows a lot of dirty jokes

CAREER MINDED = Back Stabber

LOYAL = Can't get a job anywhere else

cheers Shumpy