Einstein
Today is Einstein's birthday. He would have been 107.
Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919.
He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed, and postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection.
This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.
Hollywood Welcomes The Beckhams
"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different. They are both called Steve."
- Ron Atkinson
Gordan Strachan's Sky Sports Quotes
Here are the best of Strachan's Sky Sports funnies...
Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Stracham: No! I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "no, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless!"
Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.
Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?
Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.
Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.
Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.
Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.
Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.
Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.
Danger at work, 7 seems to be the most dangerous
10 Things....
..From the BBCi
1. UK traffic lights emit about 50,000 tonnes of CO2 per year through energy use.
2. Jobs in finance make up 4% of the UK's workforce - and account for 13% of the income tax paid.
3. Coach travel is the safest form of road transport in the country.
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4. More than 20 million people visit Little Chef roadside outlets each year.
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5. A Beefeater is more formally known as a Yeoman Warder of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary.
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6. Holders of the MBE can be stripped of the honour at the discretion of the Queen, "if evidence of wrongdoing comes to light".
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7. Saddam Hussein's codename while in US custody in 2004/5 was "Victor".
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8. A shortage of volunteer leaders has led to a waiting list of 50,000 girls wanting to join the Girl Guides.
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9. Noel Edmonds' middle name is Ernest, although it’s not noted in his first Who's Who entry, in the newly published 2007 edition. He is listed as Noel E Edmonds.
10. The US Senate has never had a "socialist" senator - until now. Bernard Sanders, an independent, calls himself a "democratic socialist".
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(Sources: 1. UK Energy Research Centre report, published 29 December; 2. What Makes Britain Rich? BBC Two, 4 January; 9. The Daily Mirror, 4 January.)
Breaking News
Smoe Nobody has escaped from the Big Brother House. Unlike other years this outbrake was during 2007. Anyone wanting some cheap publicity should send mobile images to crap@BBC.Co.UK
I Have Started So I Will Finish
TV's Magnus Magnusson dies at 77
The former presenter of BBC TV's Mastermind programme, Magnus Magnusson, has died at the age of 77.
Mr Magnusson, who was born in Iceland, had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October last year.
He came to Scotland at the age of one and spent his life working as a journalist, writer and broadcaster.
Mr Magnusson, who is survived by a wife and four children, was known for his catchphrase "I've started so I'll finish" on the long-running quiz show.
